I gave birth via c-section not even 2 months ago and I still have some of the baby weight. And by SOME I mean I still look like I'm close to my last trimester of pregnancy. Anyways, the sperm donor saw me breastfeeding the other day and had the audacity (or ruthless honesty) to exclaim, “Eeeeewww.” And by sperm donor, I mean the baby daddy I've been in a relationship with for almost years now.
The most hurtful part is not that his observation was true, but the fact that he actually meant it. In a world where hypocrisy is rampant and lies are told to make others feel better, I got the person who actually says what he means and means what he says.
"Well, I had a c-section and they (meaning other people who probably want me to remain fat all my life so they'd look skinny next to me) said I can't work out until 6 months after," I said to him when what I really meant was, "Eff you!" I wanted to say more, but even with my raging mommy hormones, I still couldn't bring myself to say anything that will bruise his ego. I'm saving that for later when he's done something much more severe than criticizing my size – which is not a zero anymore.
I’m not the nicest person in the whole world but there have been numerous instances where I’ve selected my terminologies instead of just saying what I mean.
The most hurtful part is not that his observation was true, but the fact that he actually meant it. In a world where hypocrisy is rampant and lies are told to make others feel better, I got the person who actually says what he means and means what he says.
"Well, I had a c-section and they (meaning other people who probably want me to remain fat all my life so they'd look skinny next to me) said I can't work out until 6 months after," I said to him when what I really meant was, "Eff you!" I wanted to say more, but even with my raging mommy hormones, I still couldn't bring myself to say anything that will bruise his ego. I'm saving that for later when he's done something much more severe than criticizing my size – which is not a zero anymore.
I’m not the nicest person in the whole world but there have been numerous instances where I’ve selected my terminologies instead of just saying what I mean.
Like this one time I had coffee with my friend who brought her friend (and my more than acquaintance, but not really a friend) along. That girl is one that fishes for compliments whenever she can. She's the kind of girl who knows she's far from ugly, and although she was a couple of pounds away from being chubby, she carries herself well and is actually sexy. But she would complain about her imaginary pimples, or that invisible flab around her waist that "spills" at the top of her jeans, just so she could hear people say how pretty and sexy she was. She asked if she should have the bazillion-calorie-loaded dessert, and I wanted to say, “Life is too short to deprive yourself of the things you love. Besides, you’re too skinny. Have two of them and the other one’s on me." Those extra calories might just be what would push her to the chubby side - she'd gain a few pounds, and some humility. But I stopped myself and said instead, "That'd make you feel good now, but guilty later. You don’t need the empty calories. Why not try this other one with low fat and less carbs?”
What I said was nice, but I didn't mean it.
Then there was this one time at work when my hand was terribly dry and I had no hand cream to put on it, so I resorted to using Victoria’s Secret Strawberries and Champagne. I was in the cafeteria, and this guy said it smelled so bad I should refrain from using it when people are about to eat because it ruined his appetite.
I said to him, "I don’t ask you to put a bag over your head even if your ugliness is offensive so don’t ask me to stop using my lotion just because you think it stinks.”
In that kind of situation, I feel like you gotta give yourself the gift of saying exactly what you mean, and meaning exactly what you say.
